I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
