didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
