im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
