he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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