I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
