she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
