I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
