I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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