Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
