All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize