just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She announced her abortion via fbk
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Houston, we have a blender
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
