who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
