how can u be prego again
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
