I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
