i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
