I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
