Midget sex pt 2 tonight
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
