so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
