you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize
