Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
