So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
