Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
