Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
