This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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