i barfeds in our rink
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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