Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
