the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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