So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
