It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
