We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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