So drunk its hurt
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
