For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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