some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
