omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
