im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
