The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
