I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
as a side note pls kill me
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
