Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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