Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
