if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
