i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
