am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
