road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize