you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
