You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
