I just made out with a guy for $7.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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