You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
