yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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