i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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