Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
