The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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