I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
