cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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