Me too!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
