I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
