you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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