im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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