Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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